Essays have been returned. If you don't have yours, please email. The number at the end of the comment is the essay's grade, based on the 0.7 to 4.0 scale the college uses. 0.7 = D-, 1.0 = D, 1.3 = D+, 1.5 = C-/D+, 1.7 = C-, 2.0 = C, 2.3 = C+, 2.5 = B-/C+, 2.7 = B-, 3.0 = B, 3.3 = B+, 3.5 = A-/B+, 3.7 = A-, 4.0 = A. These gradations are about as fine as I care to split the grading hairs.

Check your email for them. You should consider the grades preliminary because my expectation is that you will revise based on the feedback and then receive your final grade. However, if you grade is 2.0 or higher, revision is optional. If the grade is below 2.0, revision is mandatory, meaning you can't receive a passing grade for the class if you don't revise. This is the point of the class where you begin juggling multiple assignments, though I'll try to keep them as spaced as possible.

The long and short of things, based on this first essay, is you are a typical bunch of English 101 student writers. The class average for grades on the first essay is pretty much inline with previous class averages on the first essay: 1.7 or C-. Through the revision process this will change, always for the better as a group. Likely the class average will be about 2.5, but all of that remains to be seen. The highest grade given so far was a 3.0 (B) and the lowest a 1.0 (D). What this means is that most of you need to learn about college level writing expectations and I'm here to help make that happen. In some respect, we use a very traditional approach, the Socratic method and question and answer, as I try to lead you to better understand what you need to do to better your writing to meet certain expectations--those of the academic audience. What's not traditional is that we do this online rather than sitting face-to-face. Please read all that follows and let me know what questions you have. Keep reading by clicking on the "read more" link so you can see all of the specifics:

• First, before you ask me any questions about my comments, it's important that you think about the comments and how they apply to your essay by reading them, digesting them, and looking over your essay to see how they apply. To enforce this process to the best of my ability, I won't respond to any questions regarding my comments until after 5 p.m. Wednesday, the 16th. Any that come before will be deleted without a response. After that, I'll be happy to answer questions.
• When you ask questions, please don't tell me "I don't understand" because I can't answer a question of that sort. And please don't tell me to "Please explain what I need to do" because my note has done that. However, the sorts of questions I can help with will be phrased like this: "You wrote that my thesis didn't make it clear what was of importance or interest with regard to my response. You suggested that I use the idea I expressed in my concluding sentence. (This is common, by the way, because your ideas become clear to you at this point. We refer to this as being a result of 'writing to learn.') What do you think of this: blah, blah, blah? Does it do the sort of thing we should to shooting for?" The more you explain and develop in your question, the more you will actually answer for yourself, and when that isn't the case, you give me more to work with. Explanations and discussions of this sort may take more than one or two exchanges, so stick with it until you get an answer that makes sense to you.
• Revisions are due one week from today, midnight, July 22. As with the draft I'm returning, they should be submitted via email as an attached file. Please, no .docx. I don't have the latest from Microsoft on my home computer.
• When submitting revisions, please use the track changes function or highlight changes so they are readily visible visually. If you don't do this, I won't be reading your resubmission.
• The grade you receive on the revision is your final grade for this assignment. I do not average or anything of that sort. If you received a 1.0 and you turn it into a 4.0, your grade for the assignment is 4.0.
• Although we do not use the portfolio process during the summer, I continue to grade as if we do. My grades are meant as an indicator, somewhat approximate but generally pretty much on target, as to how well your essay would do in the portfolio process. If I give you a 4.0 (that would be an 'A'), you can count on sailing through the portfolio process without worry. If I give you a 3.0 (that would be a 'B'), you can have a great deal of comfort in knowing you should do well in the portfolio process. If I give you a 2.0 ('C'), that means you have met the absolute minimum expectations for portfolio readings. Just by the hair of your chinny-chin-chin will you make it. But, given that essay grading is not an exact science, there would be a chance you wouldn't make it. In a portfolio situation, I'd suggest you revise again to better the likelihood of success. Similarly, if I assign a grade of 1.7 (C-), I'm saying you are close. Same with a 1.5, but likely you would not pass the portfolio unless you receive a very charitable reading. If you receive a 1.3 (D+), I'm saying there is a good bit of work to do and you are not at all likely to pass the portfolio process. Same with a 1.0 (D) or a 0.7 (D-). A 2.3 (C+)is iffy, and too close to call to rest on your laurels, as is a 2.5 (B-/C+). At 2.7 (B-)you can rest assured you will be passing the portfolio process. Anyway, that's what these grades mean in one sense. In the past, where I tend to be wrong is that I give essays that are borderline a slightly better grade than the portfolio process bears out. We use this process as a department to keep ourselves consistent, so my A is the same as someone else's A, as is my B, C, D, or F.
• Overall, I'd say the most consistent concern is the need to develop effective response points. This is the approach I've suggested, one that will work well: open the paragraph by naming the point you are going to address and then describing it. This could be one of the warning signs, or one of the major points from the first chapter. Name and describe. Second, provide an example from the book to illustrate what Jackson and Jamieson used to show how things are. Follow that with an example from your experience, whether direct experience, as seen on tv or what have you. Conclude the paragraph with some explanation as to why this all matters in relation to the claim of the introduction. This will tie the point to the rest of the essay.
• The second most common concern was the lack of attribution in the summaries. It's important to let your reader know the words you are passing along are those of Jackson and Jamieson. You can do this by writing something such as "The second warning sign provided by Jackson and Jamieson is . . . " or "Jackson and Jamieson write that the Bin Laden Baloney . . .." This way there is no, or less at least, blurring of the line between you as the writer and them as the written about.
• Other concerns are individualized and I hope I spelled them out clearly enough for you in my notes. But, I know that there will be questions, but it's up to you to ask them, otherwise there is nothing I can do. In an online class, this email or blog exchange takes the place of classroom discussion or asking questions before and after class. As I already noted, sometimes it takes a bit of effort to come to an understanding, so keep asking questions until things make sense.