Essay #2 Draft-about John McCain's "Health Solutions"
Jacklyn Lathrop
Bleck
English 101
Due July 18, 2008
Deception at its Finest
Here in America the public election for office will be held in less than four months, and after we will be swearing in a new president. The candidates have been narrowed down to Barack Obama, and Senator John McCain. Deciding who to vote for can be distressing with mixed signals and false messages coming from everywhere we look. Brooks Jackson and Kathleen Hall Jamieson write in Un-Spun: Finding Facts in a World of [Disinformation], “ the important thing is to recognize that both sides try to use words that we’ll automatically accept or reject without thinking too much” (49). All it takes is 30 seconds to be manipulated into agreeing or disagreeing with a statement or cause that you may not completely understand. Jackson and Jamieson write, “don’t assume that just because a law is called an assault weapon ban or a product is called Smoke Away that they really do what their names imply”( 46). Just because Senator John McCain has an ad for “Health Solutions” does not mean he has health solutions that will be affective and what taxpayers want. American voter needs to stay on their toes and not take every statement or impression they get from an ad like, McCain’s “Health Solutions” for granted. Voters need to be aware that the message they are getting from an ad may be manipulating them with out them even knowing it.
The “Health Solutions” ad, uses candidate mythologies giving the message that John McCain is a regular guy who we can trust that is going to change the way our health benefits work by giving the lower or middle-class population more assistance. The ad leaves a positive feeling in the viewer’s mind because McCain is being portrayed as someone they can trust and possibly call a friend, using Mythologies to relate the person to the candidate (Thorson). The ad is visually appealing relaying a sure, friendly, confident McCain speaking at the beginning that “there’s many many solutions for this problem”(McCain). Friendly attractive nurses and doctors are shown, while a number of large statements like; no subsidies for millionaires, and end junk lawsuits are being swept across the screen. These are all examples of the ways to manipulate the viewers.
The nurses, their clothing, and their actions are all props with the sole purpose of influencing the viewer to accept the ad’s hidden message of not wanting people to ask specifics (Thorson). A friendly voice reads the statements to the viewers and says, “John McCain is not tired of politics” feeding off of the viewer’s personal emotions of wanting a politician who is on their side (McCain). To the average viewer they may be inclined to jump at the bait and take the ad’s message to heart because all of those factors of “better health coverage” sound appealing to anyone and everyone, however everyone has a different idea of better health care so one must look past the images to see the facts because props are a large way to manipulate the viewers. Jackson and Jamieson wrote that “pictures tend to overpower spoken words,” and so, “when you see dramatic images, listen to the fine print” (54,55). The viewer need to know how to look past the images and props used in ad campaigns.
After seeing this ad it is only natural to assume McCain has all the answers to fix our health care problems. However there were no real solutions or solid numbers or fact stated in the ad whatsoever. Even though the ad is named "Health Solutions" there are no solutions clearly made. McCain stated that there were many many solutions but only named a couple without saying exactly how he would go about doing them. For instance, “no subsidies for millionaires”(McCain). One must be sure to ask how these subsidies would affect taxpayers? Will the subsidies be controlled by the government on how they are distributed? The statement “no subsidies for millionaires “ could easily be interpreted that a large check will be sent in the mail for the taxpayer to do with as please.
The statement “portable affordable health” also gives a vague picture (McCain). At what means is McCain planning on taking to make portable affordable health, and how will that affect our premiums? Will they go up, and if so at what rate? How will that effect our private insurance policies from businesses? These are questions that affect the taxpayer’s checkbook that everyone needs to know the answer to. Questions that will most likely be overlooked by voters who are not on their guard because they are engaging in wishful thinking. Psychological experiments have shown that humans seek out week evidence to support their existing beliefs (69). It is human nature to get the facts wrong and to be “unrealistic about being realistic,” that is why so many people fall into these traps (69,70,71). Ending junk lawsuits seems like it is as simple as what it says but the viewer still needs to question how that is going to be obtained. This very well could be an example of Implied falsehood if the claim to end junk lawsuits was only going to be applied to gun control or just banning cosmetic features on firearms (61). The claim to end junk lawsuits isn’t very specific and can be misinterpreted by anyone leading them to cast a vote for a false cause.
The bottom line is that Senator John McCain’s campaign ad for “Health Solutions” doesn’t give any solid information to convince someone to vote for him even though he has an ad that is named "Health Solutions". Although the ad was pleasant it left viewers without answers which was the whole point to the campaign ad. Viewers still need to do their research so that they may decide on facts instead of partial claims to whom they will vote for. Viewer’s need to be cautious not to let themselves fall for candidate mythologies, props, and always ask themselves what was really being said. Did the ad give answers in its message and if so, did it really mean what you think the ad meant? Unless voters like blindly picking their candidates or being lied to, they need to open their ears and eyes.
McCain, John. Ad for “Health Solutions” July, 2008 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAHcA0igE7w
Jackson Brooks and Kathleen Hall Jamieson. Un-Spun: Finding Facts in a World of [Disinformation] New York: Random House, Inc. 2007 (46, 49, 54, 55, 61, 69, 70, 71)
Thorson, Esther. Graduate Dean of Journalism, “The Savvy Voter” http://www.pbs.org/elections/savvydissect.html
Jacklyn,
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I like your essay I think
I like your essay I think that it works pretty well. in the last paragraph you have The bottom line is that Senator John McCain’s campaign ad for “Health Solutions” doesn’t give any solid information to convince someone to vote for him even though he is has an ad that is named "Health Solutions". you have an extra is in there.
The conclusion could have a little more on how important it is to research.
I think it looks pretty darn good hope this helps
manuel
to Jacklyn
Jacklyn,
Generally speaking the introduction works. When first mentioning a person, be sure to use their full name and then last name only; this goes for Jackson and Jamieson as well as the candidates. I'm unsure about how well the thesis is going to work, whether it creates enough of of a "why might this be of interest or importance" direction for the analysis. I'm thinking why might it be of interest or importance that promises are not what they seem, that important factors need to be considered. See if you can narrow the focus here to something more specific.
The first point seems to be about candidate mythology, that McCain is a man of the people, but that's never stated. The first few sentences tend in this direction, but as the paragraph winds down, it becomes less clear. A topic statement and some explanation as to why it matters, assuming I'm on the right track, will better unify and focus the paragraph, but also be sure each piece of information, such as the nurses, fits with the topic of the paragraph.
Something similar seems to be amiss with the second body paragraph as well. It starts out with some notion that it will be about props. I suggest being clearer, more to the point, that one of the many analytical tools in reading a video is looking for props. Then tell what props do, then describe some of the props, then explain why those props matter in the context of the thesis and the campaign. This approach needs to be done for each of the support paragraphs.
Developing paragraphs in this manner, and tying them back to a more focused thesis, should also lead to a conclusion that drives more of a point home. Right now the conclusion doesn't conclude so much as it winds down (goes out with a whimper, so to speak, rather than a bang!). In order to get readers to see things your way, first tell them what you will argue in the thesis. Make it clear so they aren't left guessing. Explain how each point fits and then use the conclusion to drive home the overall importance of not being deceived, not being suckered by 30-second sound bites.
Bradley
Jackie need's more comments:(
Jackie need's more comments:(
Introduction: Is really
Introduction:
Is really good and well thought out, but I wasn't clear which "springboard" you were shooting from. There seems to be a few intertwined throughout the essay.
Essay Focus, Thesis or Main point:
Very strong and based off the books ideas.
Conclusion:
I'm not sure that it should be left on a question, maybe put that mid- conclusion instead on the very end. It leaves the reader uneasy.
Organization, structure and/or paragraphing:
I do think the second paragraph should be broken up. I see you put the voice, clothing all props all in one section, maybe break it up a bit.
Wording and Sentence Structure: same as above suggestion.
Conventions of Standard American English:
I use spell checker and this to catch my unnecessary commas and weird word choices:http://spellcheckplus.com/
Adequacy of response to assignment:
Yes you seemed to get it, I just wasn't clear which claim you were working with, there was a few within the assignment. I am assuming it is the two you introduced at the intro.
Appropriateness of topic treatment for college reading audience:
Yes