Sorry for being slower than I planned on getting the second essay back to you, but as soon as I post this message, I'll be returning your second essay with a response and grade. If you did not receive an essay with a grade, it's most likely because I didn't receive one to be graded. Contact me if you have any questions in that regard.

If you want to figure out your grade to date, add this grade to the previous grade and divide by two. Revisions are due by midnight, August 5th. That's an extra day, but since the third essay is due to me by midnight the 4th, it doesn't give you much extra time. As with the first assignment, no questions will be fielded in the next 24 hours regarding the second essay and my comments and grades. Any questions about those things sent before the time is up will be discarded, unread. When you do get back to me with questions, please write something like "In my essay, regarding my paragraph on depicted actions, you wrote that 'blah blah blah.' To address that, I was going to 'yada, yada, yada.' Do you think that will work? Please let me know." I'll get back to you and answer the question as best I can. You can, of course, ask more than one question at a time.

Grades for this essay averaged 1.87, which is between a low 'C' or a high 'C-'. The median, half above and half below, is 1.7, a 'C-.' The lowest grade was a 1.0 (D) and the high a 2.7 (B-). Counting all submitted essays, the overall grades for the class are a 2.03 average and a 2.10 median. Click the "read more" to see the rest of this note.

Perhaps the biggest common concern was/is ineffective paragraph development. Here's what I suggest as a way to develop paragraphs for this assignment:

1. Topic Statement: This is where you let the reader know which of the savvy voter analytical criteria you will be using, perhaps like this: One of the elements routinely looked at in analyzing a video is the candidate mythology being constructed. Senator McCain's video makes use of the war hero mythology as described by the Savvy Voter site.
2. Explanation of Topic's importance: Candidates use videos and other media to construct a candidate mythology so they leave an impression with the viewer, an impression that they can relate to on a personal and emotional level.
3. Examples to illustrate the point: In showing Senator McCain as a war hero, the video plays heavily on his experience as a Navy fighter pilot and a Prisoner of War during the Vietnam War. The video begins by showing McCain standing beside his F4 Phantom, his name stenciled on the side, dressed in a flight suit. Clearly only some of the most capable in the military are entrusted to fly such a machine, being responsible not only for the multi-million dollar piece of weaponry, but the havoc it can wreak. Following the images of McCain the pilot, we see McCain the POW, strapped to his bed in the infamous Hanoi Hilton, the most notorious of prisoner of war camps during the conflict, where torture and abuse was routine. McCain became something of a leader among his fellow prisoners, forgoing the opportunity for early release because it was not his turn. These are but two of the many examples tied to McCain's military experience that are used to create the notion, and rightly so, that he is a war hero.
4. Explanation looking back to thesis: While few dispute the notion that Senator McCain is a war hero and came by that appellation in a dignified manner, there is considerable dispute about whether this suits him to become not just the leader of the free world, but the Commander-in-Chief of the largest and strongest military on the planet. History provides a mixed experience with war heroes as president--from Andrew Jackson to Dwight Eisenhower to the first President Bush who was also shot down during war time, indicating that, if anything, presidential leadership does not directly correlate to how well one conducted himself during war time.

As you can see, in the paragraph, I'm down-playing McCain's qualifications for president based on his being a war hero. It could be argued the other way as well, that leadership in a time of crisis, that forgoing his early release, that knowing what it's like to come so close to death, will make for more prudent leadership when military conflict seems likely. We can only look to history to see how it has played both ways, and, like the stock market, past performance is not an indicator of future results. More important, I hope you see how you can effectively develop a paragraph in this instance. In short, the topic is introduced, the general importance of the topic is explained, the topic is illustrated with examples and the importance of the topic and examples are explained in relation to the essay's thesis.