Kristine's Draft of Essay Four
Kristine Carney
Bleck
English 101
June 1, 2009
Inhumane Treatment of Animals
“The contribution that animal experimentation has brought into biomedical research over recent decades is of undoubted value” (Forni 43). In the opening of Chapter Four, Mill asks "How much of human life should be assigned to individuality, and how much to society?" There are individuals that see research carried out via animal testing as necessary, where as many other individuals in society view animal testing as cruel and inhumane. It is easy to forget, at least for some laboratory researchers, that the animals they are experimenting on are living creatures that deserve kindness and humane treatment. It is true that if not for laboratory animal research modern medicine and mankind would not be nearly as advanced as it is today, but is this truly enough to justify the cruelty of experimentation on animals? It would be unrealistic to say that animal testing must be stopped, but on this subject society should have more control over the individual in order to regulate more humane treatment of animals that are being sacrificed for such a worthy cause.
The organization People for Ethical treatment of Animals, PETA, employ people to work undercover in capturing video footage of abused laboratory animals that are treated not as living creatures. In one of their videos, they give many examples of how animals that are poorly treated.
In their video PETA, displays footage of different cases of when animals were treated inhumanely in research. The video shows an experiment done on a monkey to study blindness. The researchers at the university sewed a monkey’s eyes shut to study blindness as a result the monkey would have spasms. Another experiment was done where they isolated monkeys for research; they had no social contact and were alone in their cages for months. The two tests that really broke my heart in this video, was when they showed the cats and dogs being tested on. A cat was sprayed for the fourth time with a flea product and as a result, it had spasms for hours. They also showed a dog that was used to test a dog food brand, they would isolate them in cages for years on end, and wouldn’t give them veterinary care if they needed it, and they also cut the dog’s vocal cords so they wouldn’t disturb the researchers. Cases such as these should be enough evidence that animal testing can be truly inhumane and cruel. A lifetime of isolation is inhumane in itself without even considering the fact that they are being tortured. Society should step in and regulate the actions of these select individuals much more strictly, possible even punishments for such inhumane actions.
Animals are often treated inhumanely by scientists and researchers. In the article titled, Animal Tests Inescapable, the author mentions how the European Union had been working in a laboratory in Italy, trying to find nicer and more humane ways to do testing on animals. They have been successful so far.
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animal welfare
the thesis is a bit long, but does a good job of maintaining a reasonable tone. I think it unrealistic to eliminate all animal testing, especially if we want to improve upon current medicine. However, we can eliminate wasteful animal testing, though I can't tell you what is wasteful and what is necessary. One thing I can say for sure if you want to look into the writings of Peter Singer. He is considered the foremost ethicist on animal welfare issues.
What I think will help develop the argument more effectively is to determine just what to focus on. While the thesis lays out a path, it may help to more narrowly define the situation to which it applies. The monkey example is, as it reads, seemingly unnecessary and something that could be omitted all together. If that's the case, first describe the problem--using animals when it is not needed; that's the topic statement for the paragraph. Follow the topic statement with an explanation as to why that matters--the waste of animal life undermines valuable research that requires animals. Follow that with an/the example with a citation, and maybe an example with a citation about what can be or is being done instead. Finally,conclude the paragraph with some explanation tying it back to the thesis.
Do this with each point in support of the argument. the opposing view would be something about the invaluable contributions animal experimentation has made to mankind. the refutation/rebuttal would be about how much of it is not needed, how much of it is done simply because that's how it was done previously, and that there are plenty of new testing methods that don't require harming animals.
Bradley
essay 4
The essay intro is good , need to cite page number for mil.
The thesis is good ,more supporting development would help.
Well done showing both sides of the topic disscused.
Treatment and appropriateness of topic fair.
response
introduction- good introduces the book you need to use as well as mill. you opened it up with an expalantion that will help lead you into your essay.
Essay focused- stayed focused on your topic all the way through.
development- good ideas just add on to what you already have.
organization- paragraphs stick to one assignment
wording- everything looks good to me
adequacy of response to assignment- need to give mill's full name as well as the name of the book that you are quoting.
Appropriateness of topic treatment for college reading audience- good topic!