My sonnet, cheesy, but I never claimed to be a poet
Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 01/26/2010 - 21:46
No star shall overcome my lover's smile,
Nor any ocean reach the depth of his pure heart.
My love for him is unalterable, despite any herculean trial.
Handsome, yet, humble, he knows not how to be a braggart.
My beloved's eyes have a deeper blue than any sapphire ever known,
And his laugh is so harmonious and enchanting,
No rival of his has ever been shown
To be more adored, only insufferable and failing.
Yet, others are covetous and my love's constantly tempted
By many a sweetheart, fueled by their false desire.
Could his love for me somehow be arrested?
And my love he will no longer require?
No, this faithful heart is his , and his mine,
Now, and forever, long after this poor line.
Not Cheesy, More like Beautiful
The way that you described this man is beautiful. You were able to show us what a great and beautiful man with all of your imagery.I can truly sense the love that you and this man share. I think it is great.
Cheesy is good!
When writing poetry, especially about romance, I like when it's a little cheesy. It's hard not to be, just because romance seems to be dead in our society. Many people classify anything romantic as cheesy, but it's very sweet and kind. I liked your sonnet very much and I loved the line about how your love is "unaltered, despite any herculean trial". It seems very poetic.
I don't think it is cheesy
I think you could easily claim to be a poet. This is really touching poem. I really like the descriptive language. Also, I think I like poems that aren't in iambic pentameter better. But again, good job! You should be really proud of this poem.
Iambic pentameter, I picture a ruler in my head.
I LOVE iambic pentameter. It has a beat when you read it. It kinda hums along like a song. Writing in it is wonderful. It is such a challenge at times! It really makes one's creativity stretch especially when you have to have end rhymes. I love other forms as well, but don't be so quick to shoot down iambic pentameter. (It's much better when you aren't being forced to write or read it.)
I do agree - Veronica, it is lovely poetry. Claim to be a poet!
Megan Baeth-Brison
Lovely
This is beautiful, Veronica! It is very Shakespearian. So poetic and it reads so smoothly. I love the last four lines especially. Very well done.
Jennie
Thank you very much! I
Thank you very much! I really appreciate it! I won't lie, writing poetry, especially if you're trying to make sense is really hard!
Veronica Sparks
nice turn
The couplet makes a nice rhetorical shift. Bradley
Bradley
Not really following the formula here
My apologies for writing out of classic sonnet style. Veronica Sparks