Equality of Sexes

Introduction
The article “’The Forgetfulness of sex’: Devotion and Desire in the Courtship Letters of Angelina Grimke and Theodore Dwight Weld” is an analysis of a set of letters between Angelina Grimke and Theodore Weld. Robert K Nelson analyzes how Theodore Weld managed to exclude the sexual differences in his letters, but proposed equality based on the fact that he likes Angelina’s soul. This analysis helped view Grimke sisters beliefs from yet another perspective, by viewing the courtship letters. Therefore this enlightened my understanding of The Grimke sister’s letters and beliefs.

Summary
The Grimke sisters show their disapproval of culture drawn destincion between males and females via public letters. They said that God’s plan was misused, and perverted to abuse women. They call their readers to take action by looking at only souls and not the sexes, and by doing so calling for equality based on intellect. The sisters used their lecturing tour to get audience to which they also propagandized sexual equality. Some people were skeptical of the Grimke sisters, considering them out of their place, justifying this claim by saying that hierarchy based on sex is part of divine order (via Pastoral Letter issued by the General Association of Congregational Ministers of Massachusetts). Grimke sisters responded by letters too, claiming that its women’s right and sacred duty to exercise political voice, and to publicly advocate causes they believed were morally right. Furthermore, the Grimke letters were not only criticism of women’s political exclusion, but they equally stressed the fact that unequal notions of gender perverted the most intimate of relationships, preventing women from being godly wives and mothers. They claimed that men viewed women only as means for pleasure, and not a spiritual companion.
Theodore Dwight Weld definitely knew the Grimke sisters’ views when he began to court Angelina in February of 1838. Weld went to great lengths in his efforts to “forget sex” in their romance. He turned out very useful to the sisters in their movement acting as their primary contact with the AASS in New York. Weld played along the Grimke sisters views on equality in his love letters. However he didn’t have any evidence that Angelina loves him back. That, he claimed he could feel though. In stressing equality he goes as far as saying that its okay for women to propose marriage, but perhaps he was just trying to get Grimke to express her love. They elaborated in their letters how they want their marriage to be based on friendship and spirituality and not sites of social hierarchy, but instead, of spiritual fulfillment and sexual equality. In his first letter Weld said he loves her soul rather than body, claiming to be drawn to her emotionally, intellectually, and most importantly spiritually. He doesn’t mention the physical aspect whatsoever. Later, he makes her sex insignificant to further develop on his point that his love is for her soul which he considers equal to his.
Charles Stuart is talked about. He has been Weld’s second father since 1825. Stuart was deeply religious and a man of integrity. Like the Grimke sisters, Charles Stuart manifested the spiritual character in people. In fact he influenced Weld to get into abolitionism. They were very good and passionate friends. Weld brings up his letters with Stuart as he writes to Angelina Grimke. He does this to prove that his feelings can be non sexual but solely spiritual. Grimke also had an intense homosocial friendship with a woman named Jane Smith. Bach then same sex realtions (even physically affectionate but not of erotic nature) were present and normal. Both Weld and Grimke wanted their romantic relationship to have these great aspects from the same sex relationships both of them experienced. Finally, Grimke asks Weld why they are attracted to each other more than to their other, close, same sex friends. If sex plays no role in this, then it doesn’t make sense. She couldn’t see how they are more special to each other than their other, same sex intimates. Weld “marvels” that he never thought of this before and carefully explains that its Gods plan to unify two sexes. He claims there is a God given difference in different sex souls, that’s why they are spiritually drawn to one another. After some time in their letters sexuality was spiritualized. Sexual and spiritual passion were united. They get married on May 14, 1838.

Response
To begin the Grimke sisters went to extreme lengths in their quest for sexual equality. I think they even went too far. She meditated upon the sole spirits of humans so much that she brings herself to ask Weld why she is attracted to him more than to her close woman friend. She concentrated distinctly on individuals soul in her courtship letters with weld. I can see that there is a point with that. We all have souls and perhaps they are equal, but they are still distinctly different. As in females and males have different characteristics to their soles. This thought can also be seen in Welds answer to Angelina, when he says “Women and men, he claimed, were spiritually drawn to one another because of God-given difference”. In my opinion Grimke is just too passionate with equality, because she seems to give up on common sense. I thought, her goal was to get rid of the perversion/corruption out of the men vs. women relationship, not propose ultimate and complete equality, but just to get the abusive/unfair element out of the unbalanced power distribution of the time. With the help of these letters, I saw just how passionate Grimke was about getting equality.
I think Grimke sisters ignored the fact that God does set males somewhat dominant over females, as wives should obey their husbands; however, husbands also have a duty which is to love their wives. Eventually everything is balanced out. I thought that the Grimke sisters were just trying to get rid of the abusiveness of the puritan time husbands, and the unfair political power discrimination against women. However, through these letters it seems to me as if Grimke sisters were proposing equality which is too overboard. I mean yes both sexes are equal in terms of respect, and rights, but they have distinct roles. If they didn’t women and men would be created Identical. However Weld (whom I think was just playing to get Grimke to marry him) proposes “that social conventions should not prevent a woman from proposing marriage to a man”. And Grimke doesn’t disagree with this, but just says that she is to proud for that, which also hints that she actually is trying to go as far as implying women superiority over man! This is why I think that the Grimke sisters went overboard with their strive for equality, and perhaps wouldn’t even mind to turn the tables.

Conclusion
In conclusion, I received a better perspective of the Grimke sisters’ mind set, by analyzing a distinctly different set of letters than those which were exchanged between the two sisters. I got the sense that she was over fanatic with her strive for equality, often ignoring common sense, and the Scripture. I agree on the equality of respect, but although she tried to ignore it, she still unconsciously realized that there is a distinct difference between a woman’s soul and a man’s soul.