bleckblog: musings of a community college english teacher

As you'll see below, if you read, our free range rabbit Loper turned up today, in our neighbor's front yard. He tunneled out of his pen the day after Halloween, so he's been on the lam for two weeks now. He was pretty happy to hang around the house, since it's been below freezing the last few nights, plus windy and rainy when it wasn't cold enough to snow. But he's not looking thin after two weeks of foraging. The somewhat funny part of his return is that he was running around in our neighbor's front yard with her rabbit that had escaped its hutch. What are the chances of that? Rachel offered her Loper, since he's not exactly our prized pet, but she declined. I guess one rabbit is enough. That means I'm going to have to fortify his pen so he can't tunnel out again. I think I know what to do, but don't have the time, or desire, to do it right away, so he's going to be caged. He'll be able to stretch his legs again shortly though. And he'll eat well in the meantime.

21 December

Grace,

Something I had been dreading telling you was that Loper tunneled out of his pen. It’s weird how that rabbit could be so happy in the yard all summer and for most of the spring and then turn into such a wanderer. I think he must have escaped a few times from the yard before I put him in the pen, not wanting to keep him in that tiny cage we have to use sometimes. But today he just turned up, and not looking any the worse for the wear, seeing as how he’s been gone for nearly two weeks. I’d given up on him, but lo and behold, he was back in the yard this afternoon, and not behaving as if he was ready for a chase around the yard before I was able to catch him. I thought the “free range” rabbit was gone, but now he’s back, but we’ve got to find a way to cut down on his range, and I think that means he’s going to be a lot less free.

Now that the rabbit’s back, damn-it anyway, I’ll have to find a way to escape proof his pen. I’ve been thinking about what we might do for Christmas, and I don’t think we want to even propose visiting L----- and Alexis, if only because they’ll just blow us off. If he or they won’t consider counseling, I’m sure the last people they want to see is you or me, or you and me, though I’m sure they’d love to see Edward. At least we won’t have to hear L---- call him “Eddie.” I guess he thinks that makes them closer, though I know Edward does like his grandfather, and his grandmother. It’s just too bad they’ve decided to be the way they are, to see us as the problem, rather than all of us as part of something that needs to be worked on. They’ll either have to get over it or risk not seeing their grandchild. We won’t have to withhold him, and I wouldn’t even think of doing that, but as long as they won’t come to see him because they don’t want to see us or have to visit our home, they’ve made the choice not to see him as well. I think Edward will be okay with that in the long run. I know I am. I don’t want them making the same hollow promises to Edward that they’ve been making to me all these years, dangling things in front of my face only to never follow through. The next thing I expect is they are going to ask him to join them on a trip, and after we agree, they’ll present us with a bill, itemized I’m sure. But we’ll cross those bridges when we come to them.

This does raise the question of what we’ll do for the holidays. I don’t want to stay around the house, but I don’t much feel like spending a lot of time in Seattle to visit your family and Marion’s family. It just seems like too much work at a time when we should be getting some rest. You’ll have to let me know, and I’m sure you will, what you think of it all. I’m looking forward to your arrival back home. It won’t come soon enough for me though I hope you are enjoying your time in Vietnam. Take lots of pictures, write lots of notes so you can tell Edward and myself all that you can.

I love you, B-----

20 December

Portia,

Alexis and I are looking forward to your spending the holidays with us. I hope we can make it an enjoyable experience for all of us. Alexis sends her love,

L------

20 December 05

Diane,

I didn’t know who I could write but I had to get in touch with someone. I just received another note from Roddy’s dad. It’s making me feel guilty, not so much about having done what we’ve done, which I’m not going to rehash for you, but for how things are going with Roddy. I keep thinking I should tell him, but I don’t know if it’s just so I can get over the guilt I’m feeling or if it’s the right thing to do for the both of us. I’m starting to wonder if it even matters whether I tell him. What do I say? “Roddy, you’re not going to take this too well, I know, so you should sit down, maybe have a drink, or a few, so I can tell you something. I’ve been screwing your father, as in having sex with him. You don’t mind do you?” How well can that sort of thing go over? Horribly I have to imagine, and it doesn’t take much of an imagination to figure that one out. It makes me not want to go, to go spend the holidays by myself.

By the same token, the sex with Roddy’s father is so much more than it is with Roddy, but I don’t think I need to rub that salt in his wound. I sure wouldn’t want to know that sort of thing if I was him. But I feel like I have to tell him something, because I’m not just losing interest and desire to be with him, but I’m starting to want to get away from him. Like I said earlier, I don’t know if I want to be with his father, except maybe for sex, but how do I get to see him without Roddy? That’s what I need to work out. But it can wait. I’ll see how things go over the holiday weekend and take it from there. No need to make any decisions now. I’ll be in touch.

Portia

21 December 2005

Mom,

Portia and I will be coming in late Friday, just like the last weekend. Don’t worry if you don’t have dinner for us. We may stop on the way and pick something up, or stop and eat along the way. Don’t make a big production of things.
It will be nice to spend some time with you and father again. I’m assuming that B---- won’t be coming. That’s too bad because I’d like to see little Eddie. He sure is a cute kid. Have you heard anything from B-----? It seems that after last Christmas that the last thing he’d want to do is show his face around us, but he’s always been somewhat selfish in that way, making sure events revolve around him, what he wants, what he thinks is right. His mother sure did him a disservice, that much is for sure. But that’s enough about that.

Anyway, the time to relax will be good. Work hasn’t been going all that well. Business is slow right now so it seems to be a waste of time even going into the office. The phone rings once in awhile, but it’s nothing that matters, no one looking to buy or sell a house or property. I think my attitude regarding work is carrying over at home. I seem to have put off Portia a bit with my being tired out by the lack of work to do. She is becoming more and more irritable at what I think are the smallest things, such as leaving the cap off the toothpaste or not closing the microwave door. Or maybe it’s just that she won’t be seeing her mother at Christmas, though she doesn’t seem all that concerned about that. Who knows. If it’s the holidays, she’ll be over it soon enough. I have a great present for her, but I want it to be a surprise to you and her both. Nothing more about that until Christmas morning after Santa visits! See you in a couple days. Give my love to dad.

Roddy