bleckblog: musings of a community college english teacher

I've been slacking a bit when it comes to this novel writing stuff, but I hope to churn out a good many words this morning. Rachel and Tobias are up in Sandpoint so I'll get a bit of time alone to just write, but I have to vacuum before they get home. thanks to Joanna, I"m going to add a new dimension, a blog by Portia's friend Diane, but Portia doesn't know Diane is blogging based on their, and other conversations, I'm going to back up and plug these blogs in, but they'll read as if written all at once in today's posting. Before I started writing today, which is as I write this, I was ajust over 24,000 words. Being on schedule would mean I'd start today at 28, 333 words, and end the day at roughly 30,000 words. I don't know if that will happen, but I'm about to find out. I'll post the word count total before I push "submit." That word count is 28, 463. It's time to clean house. Maybe I can churn out a few more words later today, if I neglect my reading and yard work.

December One Dishin’ and Bitchin’ blog entry

I have this friend, if you read this blog even somewhat regularly, you know who I’m talking about, the girl I call P-car. She dropped quite the bomb today, and I can’t help but have to talk about it. She has a boyfriend, a guy I’ve never thought much of. He has no drive, no ambition, and he’s something of a momma’s boy, and a papa’s boy as well. If it wasn’t for his parents, he’d be a total dweeb, but they give him what he needs, work, a car, a home—not their home mind you, but a home of his own—and trips both around the country and internationally, supposedly to research job and career and business opportunities’ for himself, as an investment of his parent’s money. Really all they are doing is serving as enablers to him. I guess when they die, he’ll inherit a bunch of money and property, but I doubt he’ll do much with it, but go along for the ride. I’m sure they’ll also set up some sort of foundation or something so he has other people to care for him and the money, to make sure he has a roof over his head because he’s incapable of providing one for himself. As you can see I don’t think much of him, and I don’t think P-car should spend any effort on him.

All that being said, P-car kinda likes him, but the kinda part is falling by the wayside. On a recent visit to his parents in another city, she ended up sleeping with the boyfriend’s father, and loving it. Now, I’m all for good sex. Who in their right mind isn’t? But with the boyfriend’s father? That’s just weird, on both their parts. When she told me, I tried to be a good friend, to listen, to not be judgmental, but how does someone, with a straight face, withhold judgment when someone does something this stupid? Cheating on a dweeb boyfriend, I can see that because there’s no reason to stay with that dweeb, but with his father, and then developing (not sure which came first, the crush or the fuck) a crush on him, and he’s still married. Imagine the logistics of it all. Head down to the visit the boyfriend’s parents. Find some way to get the boyfriend out of the house, and then the boyfriend’s mother, and then screw the father? I have to admit the “excitement” element, of all that could blow up in one’s face, is there. Public sex has its risks, but screwing the boyfriend’s father, in the father’s house, in the bed he shares with his wife, that’s risk and I don’t know much about the possibility of reward, except the sex. Okay, maybe sex is reward enough. Yeah, good sex could be reward enough. Isn’t that why most people have affairs, for the good sex?

TOf course, I had to play it cool when giving her my thoughts. I suggested a few things that might get her thinking about how wise all of this is. I hope she doesn’t take that counsel to mean she should do what she can to protect the relationship with the loser. No, instead, the upshot of all this is she’s starting to see that her boyfriend is a loser. It’s kind of a microscopic chink in the relationship armor, but it’s a chink nonetheless. The sooner she’s free of this bum, even if it takes screwing his father to see how much better she could be doing, the better. But I don’t think she wants to hear this from me. Who would? That’s why I blog it. As they, whoever the heck they are, more will be revealed, you can be sure of that.

December Five Dishin’ and Bitchin’ blog entry

More on the P-car saga, which is unfolding, maybe becoming tawdry. You’ll have to tell me what you think. The good news is that the chink in the relationship seems to be opening up a bit. P-car learned a little bit more about the boyfriend from his parents. As I wrote the last time about him, it’s becoming clearer that he’s been coddled by his parents, that he wouldn’t know how to stand on his own two feet if they were placed under him and he was put in braces, the kind they give to kids with polio. In short, he’s pathetic. But there are a lot of pathetic people in the world, and I guess they deserve love as much as anyone else, such as me, who is not at all pathetic. In fact, I’m anything but pathetic, but enough of that. P-car learned more about the homes the parents have provided, and the various jobs and work and other support the boyfriend has received. Of course, the parents think the guy is the best thing since sliced bread, but hell, the husband is screwing the kid’s girlfriend, so I’m not sure just how much faith we can have in their judgment, certainly not the father who is bankrolling things. As I said, the good news is the chink in his armor is opening and P-car might do something that serves her well in the long run.

Yet again P-car had sex with the boyfriend’s daddy after the boyfriend and the mother went out shopping for dinner. As with the first time, they had been sitting around, enjoying some wine together, when mom and boyfriend decide they need to go shopping and that they can leave dad and P-car together to become better acquainted. For me, they are already well enough acquainted, thank you very much, but when there’s forbidden fruit to be had, and that forbidden fruit is satisfying sex (which assumes there can be unsatisfying sex, but when that happens, I take matters into my own hands), well, I know that I’ve never known anything THAT well, so I can hardly blame P-car for wanting to get to know it as well, especially given what she’s told me about the boyfriend and sex. Let’s just say it isn’t anything that’s going to get you rushing home and hauling him into the sack. Daddy, though, seems to be another story.

So, P-car and the boyfriend’s daddy did it, again. But this time they were nearly caught, enjoying their post-coital relaxation a bit longer than they should have. I can’t remember if it was the car door closing or the garage door opening, but since the car they were driving was a hybrid, they didn’t hear them coming until it was nearly too late. The last time I wrote about these two, I mentioned the thrill of public sex, and this brought them the same sort of thrill, or so it would seem. They quickly threw their clothes back on and made themselves presentable in time to help bring in the groceries and then help cook dinner. Nothing like a little excitement when visiting the boyfriend’s family, eh?

December Nine Dishin’ and Bitchin’ blog entry

So, P-car seems to be coming around to her senses, seeing how crazy everything is, though she made it through one holiday and is planning on a little more of the same with the upcoming holidays, no pun intended. And if you don’t get my lame attempt at a joke, keep coming back and it may make sense at some point.

Anyway, P-car is still seeing the boyfriend, and more importantly, the boyfriend’s father, but the father only in the sack. The problem for her now is that when she’s in the sack with the boyfriend, she fantasizes about screwing the boyfriend’s father. Talk about buzz kill, I think. Or, if that’s how you have go to about getting a buzz from sex, well, maybe it’s time for an intervention. My friend isn’t so dumb as it may seem I’m making her out to be, and that’s what happens when your life sucks, or at least when you aren’t happy with your life. Everybody’s life could use a little excitement, but I don’t think most of us would go about getting that excitement by having sex with the significant others parents, whether of the same or opposite sex. That’s excitement that most of us don’t want or need, even if it ever crossed our minds when we’ve had too much too drink or too much time on our hands to think about weird things.

So, P-car is starting to come around. She told me that if I was to be doing such a crazy ass thing, that she’d not approve of it. Thanks, I mean, what are friends for if not to tell you when you are being stupid. I’ve not been a good enough friend to her because I haven’t flat-out told her she’s being stupid. I’ve tried to caution her, but in pretty soft measures. Of course, then I go and blog about it all for your entertainment. It’s a kind of emotional pornography, isn’t it? Maybe that’s the worst I can call it, as I insult my reading audience, but the best thing is that it’s voyeuristic, and I don’t think there are many positive connotations in that. Still, P-car is starting to come around, to come to her senses, I think.

The good news is she’s really starting to lose interest in the boyfriend. The bad news is she sticking with the boyfriend for the time being so she can keep seeing the father. I think if this was a scorecard, then it would be one-all, a tie. Or a washout, some sports metaphor or another seems to fit. It reminds me of the “a tie is like kissing your sister” frame of mind, but I’m not sure I want to venture down that road here, never mind that I don’t have a sister to kiss, or even a brother. But you get the point, except that P-car is still screwing both the boyfriend and the boyfriend’s father on a regular enough basis. It will be interesting, from the perspective of a friend, to see how this turns out. Christmas is coming and Santa may have a big surprise coming down the chimney for someone.

December Fourteen Dishin’ and Bitchin’ blog entry

I recently asked P-car what she thought the boyfriend’s mother thought of her. I’m not sure why I asked that, if only to see that maybe there were something that should tell her to run off and away from the boyfriend. P-car earlier told me about how the boyfriend’s mother liked her, as she was dissing (the boyfriend’s mother) a previous girlfriend who dropped the boyfriend for someone with some emotional and financial promise. In fact, the guy was loaded, with dough. The boyfriend, he’s not loaded, but fraught with emotional freight and little more.

So, P-car recently told me about what she thought the boyfriend’s mother thought. I wrote that already, didn’t I? Oh well. It’s reiteration, not redundancy. Keep that in mind when I repeat myself. It’s never a sloppy accident, but purposeful reminding on my part, pointing out the important bits of what I write, just in case you missed them. Just keep telling yourself that, and I’ll keep telling myself that, and things will go just fine between us, dear reader.

So, where was I? Yeah, P-car recently told me what she thought the boyfriend’s mother thought. (You think three times is an accident? Not purposeful reiteration? Come on, third time’s a charm, right?) As you might expect, the boyfriend’s mother like’s P-car, though I suspect her tune would change if she knew P-car was being screwed, or is she screwing? I’m not sure on that just yet, by the boyfriend’s father. I’m not sure how critical I’ll be of my kids, when I’m at the point of having them and actually raising them to adult hood, whether the boy or girl they bring home will be good enough for them. But I hope I don’t end up like the boyfriend’s mom. I’d heard in the past she was gushing over the boyfriend’s ex, while they were together. She’d founded some non-profit, something like that. A real do-gooder.

The boyfriend’s mom loved that sort of thing because she was making a difference in the world, unlike P-car who slings coffee as a barista, and just likes to have fun with sports, being a frustrated, somewhat athlete. This sort of thing isn’t good enough for the boyfriend’s mom, at least in general. So, the boyfriend’s mom loved the ex before she was an ex. Now that she’s an ex, it’s good riddance to bad rubbish, if you don’t mind the cliché. So, of course the boyfriend’s mom loves P-car. She’s not the ex, she’s not going to upstage her baby (the boyfriend’s mom’s baby). He doesn’t look like a loser in relation to her. What’s not to like if you’re some kind of whack job mother? Hell, I’d probably like my kid’s fuck-buddy in that sort of a situation, someone who didn’t make him look bad, who helped gloss over his or her imperfections. Seems tailor made for a parent so they can have a good view of their kid, even if it’s at odds with reality.

I have gone off on such a tangent with this entry. I was supposed to be writing about how the boyfriend’s mother sees, or feels about, P-car. Well, maybe I didn’t get too far off. But P-car worries a bit, and well she should, about what might happen if the boyfriend’s mother finds out the boyfriend’s father and she have been getting down with it? Something tells me her tune might, and should, change pretty dang quick. I know mind would. If I were spending time with someone, and it turned out they had been lying to me, and it wouldn’t even have to be about sex, or sex with one of my parents, that would change how I viewed them. If they lie about this one thing, what else are they lying about? All of a sudden they are viewed in a whole new light, and not a good one. It would be bad, very bad indeed. So, for now, the boyfriend’s mother seems to be pretty fond of P-car, but I just don’t think it can last. I mean, who would?

December Fifteen Dishin’ and Bitchin’ blog entry

Woo-hoo. P-car has finally admitted outright to having some concerns about the boyfriend. I guess having sex with his father might do that to a person. But this really isn’t about the sex, it’s about how she’s dropped her blinders about the boyfriend, but that happened because of the sex. He’s becoming somewhat like his parents, though subtly. He, the boyfriend, is trying to make P-car into someone he thinks she should be, rather than letting her be the person she is, fostering her natural growth. Instead, he’s trying to push her in a direction that fits somewhat like the ex I wrote about yesterday. Nothing seems to disrupt a relationship, particularly a rocky relationship or one without much of a foundation, than one person trying to mold the other person. That’s when things seem to be about the other person’s potential rather than who they are and what they bring. I know I’m not alone in having gotten hung up on a person because we could have been great together, but that’s nothing more than potential, or wishful thinking, or being delusional. It’s nothing about what really is, who the person is and what they need. Finally P-car is starting to see these things for herself. But if she keeps it up, I don’t know what I’ll be able to write out, what I’ll be able to dish or bitch about. Her messed up relationship is making it all so easy right now. I hate to lose that gravy train, but I really wouldn’t mind to see it derail as long as P-car comes out okay.

December Eighteen Dishin’ and Bitchin’ blog entry

P-car girl has brought her mother into the conversation. Now, keep in mind, because you probably don’t know this, but her mother is something of a nut-case, so I don’t think P-car should put too much into what he mother has to say. First, P-car told momma she wouldn’t be home for the holidays, which her momma wasn’t too happy about, but what mother would be? If she were my kid, I’d want her home with me, especially if I knew as much about her boyfriend and that family as I do. Who in their right mind would want their kid around that, involved in a mess of that sort? Only a sociopath, that’s for sure. As screwed up as P-car’s momma is, she ain’t no sociopath. She’s just a knucklehead. This, meaning the way her mother is, probably has more than a little to do with how P-car’s father left when she was pretty young, two or three I think. And even when he was around, meaning he hadn’t run off yet, he wasn’t around, but instead hanging out with the boys drinking and doping and womanizing, all the things big boys tend to do when they haven’t grown up yet. Like a good mother, she made her kid feel guilty. I’m gonna have to work on that before I have kids who are old enough to think for themselves. Lay the guilt on for all I’ve sacrificed for them, for the life I gave up for myself so I could give them a life, all that sort of thing. But her mom also knows more than a little about P-car and how she has this man pattern, and momma knows that the pattern is like hers, meaning momma’s, way of dealing with men. If I were to close with a cliché, it would be that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, or something like that, because in this case, the momma apple seems to have seeded the particular tree that is P-car, a tree that seems to be something of a clone of herself.

December Twenty Dishin’ and Bitchin’ blog entry

Well, my friend P-car is getting a little freaked out, bothered without being hot. She’s been getting some notes from the boyfriend’s father, some voice messages on her cell phone as well. He’s been expressing his love for her. I think we can call it that, but I don’t know. His behavior, his professions of love, strike me as that of someone who manipulates, almost like a child molester. He tells her that he loves her, that she means a lot to him, but that they have to keep their love secret because no one would understand it. Duh. I mean, who would understand that a father was screwing his son’s girlfriend? Actually, I think they would understand, but that’s not what he means. When he says “understand” he means accept or approve, something along those lines. I think just about anyone would actually understand, except my friend P-car at this point. She’s too confused to understand much at this point.

But I like to think I understand. He, the boyfriend’s father, is enjoying the sex with a hot young chick. P-car isn’t what you’d call model pretty, but she’s fit, taut, and hot. If I were a lesbian, she’d be in my sites. She’s no waif, not skinny at all, but she hasn’t much, if any, fat on her body. If I keep going on about her, maybe my inner-lesbian is going to come out, but I understand. Any man in his right, hetero mind would want to have sex with her if that was all there was to it. She’s not going to do that, which is good, which makes it even more confusing why she is doing what she is. She could have just about any guy she wants or wanted, but she’s not only with the dweeb boyfriend, but she’s screwing his father on the side, or she’s screwing the boyfriend on the side, I’m not sure who is on the side any more. Maybe both of them. Anyway, I understand the reason he wants both to be with her and why he doesn’t want anyone else to know. He’d lose out on one of the most beautiful women he’d ever get to have sex with, and everyone who heard about it would condemn him for sleeping with his son’s girlfriend. What’s not to understand? I’m not sure, though, how to tell her this. But I think it’s time to try, to make things as clear to her as possible before things get any screwier than they already are. Some friend I am, huh?

December Twenty-two Dishin’ and Bitchin’ blog entry

Well, maybe the end is near. P-car told the boyfriend that there was something going on, but she didn’t tell him about who it was going on with. Something tells me this wanted him to get her down to the parents for the holiday even more than ever if he was to have any hopes of keeping the relationship together. He probably thinks he’s taking her away from temptation when he’s about to place her right in the lap, literally, of it. She’s still waffling though, still going to visit his parents over the holiday, still likely to screw his father at least one more time, and the boyfriend a time or two more as well. And she’s worried about things getting weird. For me, could they get any weirder is what I want to know.

I’ve had some screwy relationships, and they’ve resulted in some screwy holidays, but nothing this screwy, thank god. She’ll keep me posted, let me know how the boyfriend is doing, what tricks (I haven’t put it this way to her) the boyfriend’s father will be playing, how clueless the boyfriend’s mother remains. It’s almost like she’s the one in for the rudest awakening. She going to be lavishing, or some P-car thinks, given what she knows, some great gift on her, and P-car will probably be gone, out of her life, before the new year rolls around. I’m sure the boyfriend’s mother will go from loving P-car and lavishing praise on everything she says to loathing her once the news gets out. And if the role played by the boyfriend’s father gets out, I’m sure all the blame will fall to P-car. That makes is easy to move on with life, to not have to take responsibility, which seems to be something they do well.

December Twenty-two Dishin’ and Bitchin’ blog entry two

It’s not often I post a second entry in any given day, but this certainly calls for it. P-car tells boyfriend she’s been stepping out on him, but doesn’t tell with whom. Boyfriend is so desperate, delusional, maybe even in love, that he forgives her, will do whatever it takes to keep them together as a couple. Puke. I used to wonder just how much of a spine that boy had, and I do use the term boy rather than man, because, well, anybody who gets shit on the way he’s been shit on ain’t no man, no way It’s one thing to be forgiving, and maybe that forgiveness will vaporize should he learn the truth of the matter. But I don’t know that P-car should tell him the whole truth, nothing but the truth. Not that she should lie about much of it, but what good would be served to have your girlfriend, a girlfriend you don’t want to end up your ex-girlfriend, has been screwing, been getting screwed, by your father? What do you say, “I’m sorry but I have to be honest with you, so, since I’ve stuck the knife in pretty deep already, a few twists will make it all okay? At least with my guilty conscience.” That kind of honesty the world can do without. I’ve always thought of that as being brutally frank, not honest. Just because someone has a stupid haircut, you don’t have to tell them, not in a way that shoots them out of the water. No, I hope to god she doesn’t let loose with nothing but the truth. Nobody will be served by that.

It’s funny, but what I just wrote almost sounds like it’s in defense of the dweeb boyfriend. I must be slipping. While I don’t want to see him end up under the wheels of a bus or anything like that, I do want P-car to get on with her life, to get away from him and his screwy family, the boyfriend’s father in particular. She can learn from this colossal blunder and move on to better things, things that are better for her. It’s getting so past time to do that. I just hope I can be honest enough with her as a friend, at least as the sort of friend who anonymously blogs all about her screwed up relationship. Love and friendships, ain’t they grand?

December Twenty-four Dishin’ and Bitchin’ blog entry

Well, my friend P-car is with the boyfriend and his parents, not exactly reveling in the holidays, but who can blame her. She told the boyfriend she was seeing someone else. He thought, it seems, he could get her away from that someone else, not knowing someone else was his father. So, in taking her to see the family, he took her to someone else, chauffeured her right into the spider’s den. I can only imagine how this is going to turn out. Maybe it’s a good thing she bought the boyfriend’s parents, wine snobs, a case of wine for Christmas. Then they can drink a bunch of it, get an expensive buzz on, and let the truth out. Maybe P-car will get one last bang from the boyfriend’s daddy, maybe not. Maybe the boyfriend or the boyfriend’s mother will catch P-car and daddy while they are getting down and dirty. Again, maybe not. I’m must glad I’m not there. The only thing I think I’d miss is the sex, assuming it’s still good when it seems to be more and more laden with a heap of guilt. If P-car can put that out of her mind and get off, the more power to her. If not, maybe there’s hope yet. I just hope this is all done before the new year rings itself in. I need something new to write about her, something other than my friend’s relationship, maybe her life, circling the drain. My conscience must be getting the better of me. Merry Christmas all you Christian readers out there, or any one who celebrates this inescapable holiday. Enjoy it for what it is!